Remembering my Dad and Things He Taught me!

Happy Birthday to my Dad Peter!  Remembering him today and revisiting my thoughts from that day: I can’t believe it’s been over 8 years since you departed!  No doubt there will come a day when I will see you again and we can embrace, and laugh, and you will introduce me around the Kingdom.  I just wish you were here today! I love you Dad and I miss you so much!

**************************************************

Today is Saturday, October 25, 2014 and we laid my dad to rest today.  It is finally the end of a two week period of planning services, notifying people, and taking care of all the legal affairs, but for me, it’s also been a time of taking inventory of my dad’s impact on my life.  As time goes by, I suspect that more things will come into focus as I reflect on his life and mine.

It was a bright sunny day, so I drove out to the beach after the days events.  As I sat listening to the waves and watching the sun set, all I could think about is that my dad would not be a part of anything else that I did.  As I thought of the things I hope to do and achieve, the sobering reality is that he won’t be there to enjoy those things.  Starting with his birthday a little over two weeks from now, then Thanksgiving, Christmas and so on, things will be different.  Thinking about things to come and things we shared, I came to realize how much I had learned from my dad.  I could write quite a bit, but for now I just want to share a little bit of what I learned from him over the years.

When I got older, my dad would make comments from time to time saying “I wasn’t the best dad, but at least you can see what I did wrong and know what not to do.”  Sometimes he would qualify it by saying “I didn’t have a dad, so I wasn’t always sure what to do.”  The truth is that he did a lot of things right and I have asked the Lord to let him know that.  I did not do a good job of letting him know when he did good and tended to be short with him in the last couple of years, something very foolish on my part.  I’ve learned to express myself better, but growing up I tended to keep stuff inside, not sure why.  When I think about the things that matter, the values he lived and shared, he did it right.  As part of his legacy, I hope to live out these values and wanted to share a few here:

Be Real – my dad was genuine and you never had to worry about what he was thinking because he would tell you.  He wore his heart on his sleeve and wasn’t shy about sharing his feelings without fear of what other might think.  My dad was openly affectionate towards my mom who really did not like public displays of affection.  It was a dynamic that worked and he had fun with it.  I watched as he was always building her up and never missed a chance to compliment her.  As I look back now, I see what a great example that was, I mean they were married with three kids, no one was going anywhere, but he made it a priority to make sure she felt special.  He did that with us also, acknowledging every achievement no matter how small.

Be Hopeful – My dad believed in good things, even when it seemed impossible, he was optimistic and hopeful that things would workout.  Sometimes he would say “Hey, if God can convince your mom to be with me, then anything is possible.” I had not heard him say that in many years, but I always remembered it.  There was a time when this simple, childlike faith was always present.  I think it was this hope that influenced me in many of the choices I made.

Be Kind – my dad was very caring to anyone he encountered, he just wanted to help.  He seemed to take a genuine interest in other peoples problems.  I can think of a lot of examples…it might be pulling over on the side of the road to help someone push their car, talking to folks in the ER waiting room, coming up with money for other kids to go on a field trip or buy their uniforms for the season, giving food to the homeless, etc.  My dad would say things like “someday we’ll need someone to help us push our car” or things to that affect.  I think this impacted me deeply as I always try and put myself in the other person’s shoes and it always helps me be less annoyed or inconvenienced, and be more helpful.

Be Faithful – My dad loved my mom for well over 50 years, from the time he was 15 years old to the day he died.  The idea of engaging another woman was never considered, even after they divorced, he maintained hope that she would return.  I am sure he struggled with lust of the eyes or stray thoughts like we all do, but it was something that I was never aware of, he only talked about my mom.  He was not shy in talking about the importance of marriage and faithfulness and that did have a huge impact on me as well.

Be Proud – My dad was very proud of everything that he was involved with.  If he was in it, it was the best thing going, whether that was his baseball teams, his job, or his family.  He was very proud of his kids and never missed a chance to tell someone about something that we did.  Not proud in an arrogant or condescending way, but more like a cheerleader and just happy to be involved.  This is something that I picked up as well. If I get involved in something, I am all in, no soft peddling.

Laughter – my dad was good at making people laugh and he always had a way of looking at a situation and finding the humor.  Whether it was a commentary on common sense, public policy, or just something silly like a play on words or a double meaning.  He was also good at antics.  I recall one time we were at the park and he was retrieving a ball for us, but as he bent over to pick it up, he would “accidently” kick the ball just out of his reach.  I don’t remember how long that went on for, I just remember we laughed hysterically as he kicked the ball all over the field.  There are many other stories that involve water balloons, silly string, fire crackers and of course, food.  My dad enjoyed the gift of laughter and shared it with everyone and that is one of the things that I will miss the most.

So that was my dad.  If you ever met him, he would have made you laugh and you would never forget him.

****************************************************************************************

Happy Birthday Dad!  The Lord has comforted me and assured me you are in His presence!  I trust there is much laughter there and I will one day be there with you, and can’t wait to hear the laughter that echoes through Eternity! I love you!